Fashionably Fat

Hello blog, it has sure been a while. One of my many legions of fans called me to tell me that she was quite sad that I had not posted in while. Well, have no fear … the blog is back. So much has happened since my last post. Most importantly, I have not dropped dead due to the oppressive heat wave that has hit the city. I am sweating as I write this because I am envisioning myself walking to Grand Central and through the slums back to my house tonight. I might meet my maker on Lexington Avenue … at least I'll be fully clothed, the only appropriate way to bite the bullet.

Speaking of clothes, Project Runway was on last night! I am so happy to have this little show back in my life. I didn't watch the entire episode (I fell asleep like a loser), but there was one designer who said she makes clothes for ALL women, many who are Plus-Sexy. Well, that is a novel idea. I had to laugh at this lunatic because she is obviously going nowhere fast in the competition. Since when is it fashionable to be a chubster? As a chubster, I feel like I don't want to see Two-Ton-Tilly strutting down the runway. It must go against nature or something. A while back a bunch of designers came out and said that they didn't want to use really skinny models in their shows (I think it was in Spain … they love churros and pork, so I can kind of understand). That's a personal preference, I guess, but I think that if you make a statement like that, then you better make those leather cigarette pants fit Star Jones' pre-surgery ham hock legs. You want fatties on the runway, you have to make clothes for fatties, buster.

It's no surprise that, for the most part, clothes look good on smaller people. There are some gals who pull off crazy looks with panache. Beth Ditto, my girl from The Gossip, is quite fearless and that is commendable. However, I was reading Vanity Fair last night and the interviewer showed a picture of Beth Ditto to Oscar de la Renta and he cringed. Like shuttered when he saw her picture. It is shocking to see someone of that girth jammed into a Herve Leger bandage dress. I mean I saw Hilary Duff in one and even she wasn't looking in top form.

Bottom line is, when I scour over Vogue or W, or any fashion magazine for that matter, I don't want to see some woman who looks like me. I want to see skin and freaking bones. I want a size 00 lady to have the skirt pinned in the back to make it fit. If all of a sudden larger gals are in my beloved fashion mags, I am going to have to find other ways to hate myself … and I just don't have time for that kind of nonsense.


Beth Ditto from The Gossip